Zoloft
How I love those little blue pills
oblong
with rounded edges
elegant
as if designed by an ancient Greek sculptor
They selectively inhibit the reuptake of
Serotonin
the substance in my brain
that, if depleted,
makes me consider which of the many ways
of killing myself I should pursue
and realize
even in my deepest misery
that none of them is foolproof
and then I revere those skillful bastards
who have succeeded
But if the re-uptake is blocked
and my brain is rich with that
brilliant lava
I can be nearly giddy with the love of life
and find pleasure
in something as simple
as driving my old car or drinking
a bottle of water
I love the way the holes in the muffler
collectively give voice to the engine
make the car seem more than it is
and the plastic bottle of spring water
refrigerated in my GE
is almost a pure distillate of ozone
a remnant of the pure world
we have sullied so badly
The muscle of my brain is pumped
as if I’d been doing bench presses with it
Humankind rushes toward annihilation
but in my heart I’m not overly concerned
because while placebo may be just as good
in mild to moderate cases
in really severe cases of depression
selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors
really kick ass
Their effectiveness is beyond question
I am giddy with equanimity
I am whole
Bionote
Mitchell Krockmalnik Grabois has had over six hundred of his poems and fictions appear in literary magazines in the U.S. and abroad. He has been nominated for the Pushcart Prize for work published in 2012, 2013, and 2014. His novel, Two-Headed Dog, based on his work as a clinical psychologist in a state hospital, is available for Kindle and Nook, or as a print edition. He lives in Denver.
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