Gaddah dress like wun layered cake
and walk like wun penguin—
Dats da way to be foa da South Pole.
It must be da Christmas season
dough wun misplaced Santa Claus
in wun sled
being pulled by wun visiting polar bear
looks kinnah strange to me.
Da famous fat man in his holiday suit
lights up his corn cob pipe
wit wun blowtorch
wun kaleidoscopic cloud
dat floats out ovah da ice fields
and rains down green and red snow boots
on da distant mountains.
Too bad dere wuzn’t
any indigenous Antarcticans around
from all da different shoe sizes.
Santa must be losing his touch
wit his gift giving dough.
Maybe he’s going senile
and da amyloids in his brain
are clogging up his good intentions.
realizes someting is not right
and he appears upon da scene
wit wun ruby glow searchlight
dat cuts through da confusion
to help Saint Nick make his way
through da unseen blizzard.
All da silver bells
on da silent screen
are ring, ring, ringing,
as Jimmy Stewart
jumps up in da theater audience
and lets everyone know
dat it’s wun wonderful life.
Dere’s hope back in da toy factory
wit his announcement
while wun necessary operation
wuz being completed.
Wrap it up
and put wun adhesive ribbon on it
cause da procedure wuz successful
and Santa is making
wun full recovery.
Dats wat all da brain surgeon elves
aftah dis story is said and done.
Joe Balaz writes in Hawaiian Islands Pidgin (Hawai'i Creole English). He is the author of Pidgin Eye, a book of poetry. NBC News featured the book for Asian American Pacific Islander Heritage Month, as one of the best new books to be written by a Pacific Islander in 2019. Balaz was honored in July, 2020, with the Elliot Cades Award for Literature as an Established Writer for 2019 for his many literary works through the years The award is the most prestigious literary honor in Hawai'i. Balaz presently lives in Cleveland, Ohio.